I’m writing you this letter to informally resign as an employee at your company. I say informally because by the time you read this I will have already announced to my riders of my last class and I will walk out of that studio on my own terms with my dignity still intact. You may be wondering why, after our last conversation, I could be so harsh to leave so abruptly and unprofessionally. “After all I’ve done for you” is what you’ll say. I’ve heard those words come out of your mouth about every instructor who leaves. And yes, you did do a lot for me.
You gave me a chance to explore my abilities when I knew nothing about spinning and you trusted me with your space and your clients. You allowed me to grow and find my confidence on that podium and I will be forever grateful. Becoming an instructor has become so much more than getting paid to workout. It’s become my passion and those riders have become my family. You hear that? MY family. When I joined your team we were all a hashtag-family. Everyone supporting everyone and encouraging each other to be better each day. That is gone now. You ruined it. We are not a family. We are not friends and as of yesterday we are not coworkers.
Like an abusive relationship your behavior is cyclical. You bring me down, then apologize, and lastly you make yourself the victim. That pattern on repeat. Well I’m done hiding the bruises, done walking on eggshells and done trying to please you. You will not hurt me again, you will not make me feel like I have done something wrong and then make yourself to be the victim. You will not bully me anymore. I’m smarter than that and most certainly worth more than that. You can no longer make accusations, talk poorly behind my back, lie to me about why things are a certain way and worst of all, making me feel responsible when things go badly for you. You will no longer blame me for your poor business decisions.
I assure you, now that I am gone things will still go wrong because I was never the issue. Neither were the last 8 instructors to leave. None of us were “cancerous to your business” (your words not mine). We cared about the company, cared about our riders and cared about each other. None of us EVER took riders from you. You pushed them to us. We’re gone now though so who will you blame next? We’re ALL gone. EIGHT of us in total and that doesn’t include the original, the dj or the supposed embezzler. Possibly more soon. What’s the common denominator here? It’s not us. It’s you. Basic math.
But don’t you worry, I don’t blame you entirely. She’s also to blame. Actually probably more so than you with her lies, manipulation and self agenda. It’s a shame we were so close and it’s turned so toxic but she too showed her true self. Never in my life have I met someone who cares more about people thinking she’s good rather than actually doing good. It’s laughable how many riders, more than I can count, only take her class because it’s the only time slot for their schedule. Most riders just tolerate her for the sake of their affordable fitness yet can’t stand the sound of her voice. And don’t even get me started on the quality of her classes! You would think that though your prices are cheap, that the quality of the rides wouldn’t be. Making playlist minutes before class? Not planning choreography in advance? Speeds that are physically impossible and entirely unsafe? But you’re never actually in the studio so how would you know? I guess the feedback from riders isn’t valid. What do they know?
The thing is, can She really be blamed for your business problems? She doesn’t own the business. You do. And you have been told a thousand times by almost every instructor in your studio about the nonsense she pulls and yet you just keep letting it happen. Again, basic math.
I’m so emotionally exhausted. The repetitive conversations about how you can’t take the negativity, drama and pettiness sucked the life out of me! Every time I asked for an example of a time I was negative, dramatic or petty you couldn’t give me an answer. Why is that? Because I’ve never done any of those things. I have walked into that studio every class, all smiles and given YOUR paying customers the best class I can hope to give in efforts to keep them coming back, not just for me but for you. I’ve worked really hard to make every playlist and every profile one that challenges your clients and is so fun they leave feeling better than when they walked in. Though you would never know, because you’ve never actually seen me teach, I’ve become a great instructor not just because of the aforementioned effort but because I genuinely care about my riders. She doesn’t even look at her riders when she teaches. I built a following and my classes have decent numbers considering the time slots and your poor publicity. Just curious, was I ever going to get a 6:30?
Though it may seem like I’m doing this out of spite, I’m doing this because I know I deserve better and I can’t take the stress anymore. I had hoped to hold out until I move but you are just too good at manifesting problems and making me feel like I am a burden. I’m devastated to leave my riders, they are what kept me going for so long, but I feel confident they’ll follow me should I find a new podium in a new home.
You accused us all of being petty and dramatic but could never actually give a time that I had been anything but professional. Well here you go. This is me being petty and my exit yesterday was very dramatic. I hope you can believe me when I say I don’t wish you ill-will. However, if you keep Her around and keep up with those heavy sighs around the studio and projecting your problems on your team, I assure you it’ll just keep going in the same direction. But that has nothing to do with me anymore. You have a fresh team in which no one knows about this. You have a chance to turn it around. Something to consider.
With that, I bid you farewell. Thank you for giving me the gift of spin. You may have pushed me out of your studio but the love of that bike will stay with me forever.
Don’t f••k with Jes!
This is so good! Freaking love you.
This is extremely well written. I was there when they fired the original. Still upstairs getting my stuff together – he didn’t have the desency to wait until the studio cleared out. Then She made up lie after lie and turned everyone against everyone. I cannot wait for this business to close completely. Laughing stock. My your journey lead you to the best places.
First time reading your blog……..You’re young, and have so much more to experience in life with people like this. It never ends! As you continue to journey through your life, may this experience simply bring you strength and wisdom. May you never forget that you DON”T need people like this. It really doesn’t matter what this obnoxious person has to say. Walking away from a toxic situation is the way to go! (SO SMART). If this guy doesn’t respect others, then he certainly doesn’t respect himself. If he continues to run his business this way, eventually he’ll go under.
Karma……what goes around, comes around. It’s very true, I’ve been there, and it feels GREAT to be in control of your own choices. Remember, you do not have to take anyone’s bullshit………..Kudos to you, Miss Jessica!
Next time don’t waste your breath on explaining. A person with this mentality will never get it! Silence is deadly……. Just walk away!
Respect for you, Ms Jessica
Gotta love you, Jessica! Good for you – hold your honesty and integrity close. Toxic people only suck the life out of those around them. You are amazing!
As a rider, I knew something bad must have been going on behind the scenes when all the best were leaving – so I didn’t buy anymore class packages but missed your classes the most! My only regret is that I missed the moment of you walking out the door. Congratulations! And don’t look back. Thanks for being an incredible instructor. As clients we may be quiet and not chit chat after class, but still leave feeling amazing and inspired!
You are a scream, Jessica! When Angie told me you are moving, I was shocked. I never thought you’d leave NYC. You will flourish at anything you do in any location! Best of luck to you!
Love those pink spin kicks!
That podium bike will surely miss them.