It’s Friday night. I’m a few glasses deep into wine, sitting at the table with my two best friends and their husbands and laughing so hard I can’t breath. The tears begin to roll down my face. I have no idea what’s so funny anymore. At this point we’re laughing at how hard we’re laughing. Some things don’t change. That kind of laughter will never change, thank goodness! It’s the kind that comes from completely letting your guard down and surrendering to the unconditional love that comes from true friendship. Nights like this are not new to us three girls. We’ve been thriving, for our mental health, on nights like this this since we were 18 years old. Sure, a lot has changed. Now we drink wine, lots of it. Now we’re married. Now there are babies attached to boobs between inside jokes. To be honest, I had feared that babies would change our friendship. I feared that they would be so consumed with their new obligations and duties that come with motherhood that nights like this would fade forever. Don’t get me wrong, our girls nights used to involve a lot more makeup and a lot less clothing but the feeling, the energy, the happiness that comes with even just a few hours with my two best girlfriends hasn’t and never will change.
We have a routine that comes with girls night. First we girl talk. We’re sure to hit three major categories; work, boys and life in general. We start with one topic and go around the circle updating each other. The conversation often spirals and we get off topic but we always bring it back making sure we each get our chance to share. It’s like therapy. Depending on what’s going on at the time, we analyze, praise, problem solve and celebrate. On nights like tonight, we get the girl talk out of the way before husbands get home from work, as they are a lot of what we talk about and what we say is none of their business.
Once the wine starts to kick in and the emotional break throughs are over, we dance. Our classic girls nights used to involve dancing on furniture and we always invited Whitney, Britney and Rihanna. Now we keep our feet on the floor and monitor which songs drop a clear f-bomb. However, tonight we did work on teaching our youngest member of girls night how to twerk. Important life lesson.
Sometimes we bake cookies, sometimes we eat the dough right from the tube. Sometimes we cry, sometimes we invite our significant others, and sometimes there are babies. We used to talk about things like grades and boyfriends. Now we talk about ovulation and interest rate. A lot changes in 13 years, particularly when it comes to life’s evolutionary stages. Sure our priorities have changed, sure we go to bed much earlier, sure we (I) drink more wine but one thing is for sure, we always leave feeling better than when we showed up. That’s what true friendship does. It heals you even when when you didn’t know you needed it.
If you have friendships like this, and I really hope you do, cherish them. Take pictures, write down your favorite memories, keep traditions. Life will keep changing even if I try to prevent it but its friendships and nights like these that reassure me that no matter how or why they change, it will always be ok.